Thursday, September 4, 2008

For my daughters

Today is our daughters' birthday. This poem was read at their memorial service by our pastor.

Your tiny legs leapt over this life
And into eternity
With one great stride.

From the safety of your mother’s womb
To the cradling hands of the Father.
You never felt earth’s harsh chill.
You know now of what we only dream,
The future for which we hope:

That the distance between this world and the next
Is shortened by God’s embrace;
That heaven’s gravity will not fail you,
That you are alive and well
Forever.

Whisper words from the other side
Sing for us an angel song
Let us hear the voice we have missed.

Bend heaven’s rules
Tell us of the face of Jesus
Assure us of our destiny.

Help us as we wait for the day
Of your full-bodied embrace.

Allison Elizabeth, my blessed first born. I remember vividly feeling you move around and kicking in the days before you born. Because your placenta was empty, I was able to feel every kick, move and stretch that you made. I am thankful for that. You are definitely the "big sister," you came out weighing almost two ounces more and being close to an inch longer! Did you know that your father named you? We had your name picked out, we just didn't know which one of you would get it. Since you were "baby A" your father decided that you should have the name that began with "A." Did you know that we share middle names too? It is a family name--your great-grandmother and great-aunt also have the name Elizabeth. Because of you my love, I was able to share 7 more days than anticipated with you and your sister in my belly; you hung in there for as long as you could. There are so many things I want to tell you about, to share with you and to teach you. I know this can't happen this side of heaven, so I wait for the day when I can hold you in my arms and whisper to you how much I love you.

Emily Ann, my sweet baby. 11 minutes after your sister was born, you were born. Ever since I can remember, all of my dolls growing up had the name "Emily." It was pretty much set in stone from the time we knew we were having twins that one of you would have this name. I remember holding your sweet hands after you were born, they were so soft and your fingers were long and beautiful. Your Aunt Christy even commented that they were so pretty and reminded her of Nana's hands, your great-grandmother. You have carried on a tradition with your name--Ann was Nana's middle name, it is your Aunt Christy's middle name and it is your cousin, Jessica's middle name. I sit here and wish with all my heart that I could say your name out loud and that you would come running to me. I know you can't, you are in a much better place.

To both of my girls, you changed our lives. You are missed and loved. My love for you, as your mother, goes deeper than I ever thought love could go. Oh how I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday. I picture the two of you digging your hands into birthday cake, surrounded by friends and family. I envision pink dresses, bows in your hair and cheeks that I can't seem to get enough of. I know that you are celebrating in heaven but it doesn't take away the sting, the pain and the longing I have for you. I am selfish, I want you here with me. Your father and I miss you everyday. There is not a day that goes by that I don't touch the two rings that are on my necklace and think of you.

The tears have come less frequently over the last couple of months than they did a year ago, but as we celebrate your lives today, they are flowing. I will re-read the poem. I will stand and look at your footprints that we have framed. I will look at the pictures we have of you. I will do the same thing I have done everyday since the day you were born--I will remember you.

We will visit your marker today at the memorial gardens and the reality of life and death will be real to us as we will clean off the stone that says you are buried there. We will listen to the birds singing and we will weep. There is mourning and grief today, but more so, I desire that this day be one of a celebration. A day that is remembered as one with the highest and deepest of love for two precious babies.

Allison Elizabeth and Emily Ann, my sweet, precious and beautiful daughters, your lives are remembered today and celebrated. We love you and can't wait to hold you again.

29 comments:

Christy said...

We love you Sarah, Mike, Allison and Emily.

"You know now of what we only dream, the future for which we hope."

mom said...

We too, will remember and celebrate with you and Mike today. We too, look forward to that day when we will embrace our beautiful, sweet girls - Allison and Emily. Our hearts are filled with love for all of you today.

Mom and Dad

Shannon said...

What a beautiful poem and tribute. I will definitely be thinking about you and praying for you today.

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

Sarah~
What an amazing, beautiful tribute to your sweet precious twin daughters Allison and Emily!

Know that I'll be thinking of you and your sweet husband Mike today, as you rejoice, grieve, and remember!

What a BLESSED hope we have, knowing that soon, you will be reunited with your daughters.

Rae said...

Hugs and prayers coming your way.

Kristen said...

Sarah,
I have tears streaming down my face and my heart aches for you and your husband. The first two posts... your sister and your parents are a testament to the gift of family and the love they provide in our time of sadness.

Your faith carries you through... I am praying for you today. The Father cradles your babies, your family and your tears.
I know I don't know you other than from blogland, but if I could reach our and hug you I would.

Becky said...

Sarah,

Your motherly love inspires me and lifts me up. Thank you for sharing your tribute to your girls. I just noticed that their initials are reverse of each other, AE and EA. What a beautiful and fitting idea for twins -- it's like they are mirror images of each other.

I will remember you and your husband today in my prayers. I hope that the Lord is near to you both in the memorial gardens, and that you can feel His loving and warm embrace in the sunshine and the birds singing!

Hugs,
Becky

Empty Nest Full Life said...

Praying for you today, as this is my son's birthday as well. I know those precious girls have touched your lives in such a special way. Rest in the Loving Arms of our Heavenly Father today. Jackie

Lelia Chealey said...

Hello,
I'm visiting from your sister's blog. Wow! How blessed these girls are to have you as their Mommy. So many parents lose children only to never speak of them again. Clearly you know they are safe in God's arms and that you will see,hold, smell, kiss and whisper in their ears again. What a precious birthday message. I can only imagine that God goes all out for the day He gave them to you.
Happy Birthday's little dollies!
In Him,
Lelia

Cindy said...

What a precious tribute to your precious girls in God's arms.

Buzzings of a Queen Bee! said...

Sarah, my heart breaks for you today...I will pray for you and your husband. I love that your beautiful daughters are in heaven celebrating their birthday, but I am so, so sorry for you that you can't be with them. Thank God that He promises we will have eternity.
Carrie

Joyful said...

I have travelled over from Kristen's blog. I have read through your past posts. What beautiful tributes you have written to Allison and Emily.

I am a "Baby A", born at 25 weeks, 46 years ago. I can't imagine the journey you have walked. When I hear stories like yours I question why the Lord chose to let my twin sister and I live? It makes me wonder if I am fulfilling His purposes for me. I have a dear friend whose precious little twin girls, Hope and Desire, are in heaven playing with Allison and Emily.

Your testimony is beautiful. Praying for you. You and your husband are wonderful parents.

Joy

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

Thank you for sharing a bit of your precious daughters. Your tribute to them is beautiful and so loving.

~ Sarah

Susan said...

Thinking about you today.
Warm Hugs,
Susan

Darlene said...

Thank you for sharing your precious baby girls with all of us. Their legacy has blessed my day today, and their own precious spirits cause me to hug my own little ones a little tighter!
What a loving mother you are, and how faithful you are to the gift of sharing their mark on this earth!

Buzzings of a Queen Bee! said...

Hi Sarah-
It's Friday, and I just wanted to tell you that your family has really been on my heart lately, so God is definitely working to make sure you get prayers for your emotionally draining week. Have a good weekend...
Carrie

Ang baylis said...

Dear Sarah,
God brought me over here from Kristen' blog as well and I'm so glad He did. If I could, I would give you the biggest hug ever and cry with you. The tears are flowing here in Michigan as I read about your precious daughters. This was the most beautiful tribute I have ever read. I am not kidding! I have never been to your blog, but I can tell by what you wrote that your heart is SO full of God that it's over flowing to everyone around you and around the world. Thank you for allowing me to have a good cry this afternoon. Your family is in my prayers!
All my Love,
Angie xoxo

p.s. I love the poem.

Genny said...

I found you through your sister's blog. What a moving rememberence of your precious babies. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for touching mine.

Our Complete Family said...

Hi Sarah,
I found your blog through your sisters. I wanted to let you know I am praying for your comfort. You are a strong woman and mother.
Love, Hugs and prayers, Leslie

much2ponder said...

This is a very moving post. Thank you for sharing your heart; mine has been touched by your words as they bring tears to my eyes.

Blessings

Chatty Kelly said...

I am visiting from your sister's blog. To say I am sorry for your loss doesn't come close to acknowledging the pain you have come through. I am a mother of 2 daughters...my thoughts & prayers go with you as you mourn your 2 precious angels.

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

I am speechless in the face of your strength and courage. Thank you for sharing the memories of these two special little angels. xxoo

Susie Harris said...

My prayers are with you and your family at this time. I can only imagine the sorrow you feel. You have such a sweet spirit about you! I know that one day you will get to rejoice once again with those precious babies. Take care my sweet friend....

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

I have come over from Kristens blog and words escape me except to say thank you for sharing your memories and tribute to your cherished daughters. Your faith will walk you through and I am praying blessings on you and your husband today.

In His Graces~Pamela

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

This tugged at my very core. Only today God brought you across my path, and I so thankful He did.

Happy birthday to your precious daughters!

CarolinaMama said...

Love and prayers to you! And a Happy Birthday to your daughters! You wrote this beautifully!

Kim said...

The poem is beautiful and lovely...just like your precious daughters.

I was blog hopping and came here today for the first time and have offered up prayers for you and your family.

I scrolled through and found things in common :) Your nephews share their names with my two youngest (Sam and Ben).

Sunset Beach??? We always think we are the only ones who know about ;)

Blessings!

Nemo - Daily-dabble.com said...

What a beautiful letter to your babies... I'm in tears. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. But I also know that right now you are also celebrating a great blessing from God, another child! :D God is faithful - He is an awesome God!

Thank you for sharing your story.
*HUGS*

Jill said...

Wow, I just read your words and the tears are falling, but your faith is inspiriing. Just 2 weeks ago I experienced a miscarriage at 6 1/2 weeks, the pain was real and the loss was hard, but still God is there and His promises are real. I rejoice in your news and pray God blesses the pregnancy and the litle one you are carrying.